»Fellas, tell ya laydee she's da one.. Im the ONE. :)
Saturday, June 21, 2008
"never find excuses for a man"for the longest time, i've been denying it with the idea that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you at all.
just the other day i let myself fall a little. just a little bit.. when we were talking and having fun with each other while me on cam, i told myself i'm willing to risk my feelings and work through any problems we come across. he was teasing me so cute and sweet like what we used to do before like nothing happened, i melted into him. nothing is worth losing this feeling, i thought.
now i feel stupid.. not because i felt that way, but knowing that this is all one-sided. i've been trying so hard all this time to make him want me the way i want him. when he doesn't, i reason with myself.. maybe he has alot going on, maybe he doesn't know, maybe it's a guy thing.. but maybe, maybe he's just not that into you, darling. i find myself constantly fighting for our time, while he fights for his alone time. the fighting hurts, but what hurts the most is seeing how hard he fights for his freedom. his busy time for exam, review for school tests which happens to be the same reason for last 2months or so.
don't give me the if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it was never meant to be shit. i'm not 14, i know better than to believe that.. because if you love something, hold on to it. nothing is "meant to be". you MAKE it be. that's my two cents.
but what's also true is that you can't MAKE someone want you. there's no point in tying him down with guilt while we both sulk. at least one of us should be happy. right? now i just have to deny what i felt was anything remotely special.. SO TRUE right?
[x] happy weekend everyone. ;)
words spilled @ 8:25 AM /
leave goosebumps here ⋄
